Sunday, January 7, 2018

too tired

today i went to the mall with my younger sister shes supposed to buy school stuff but i ended up buying more than she did more random things that is

on a normal day i wouldnt choose to go with her because the mall is much farther in our new house than it was when we were still renting but i thought i could talk to her about my dilemma because she listens well and makes better advice than most people i know

now when we were there i found my lips locked i didnt want to start the conversation about my application to another company she already knew my problem because i told her and my other sister about it i just couldnt find myself talking about it while we were at the mall

i guess i was just too tired too exhausted to talk about it i feel like the more i think and talk about the problem the more it weighs and feel like a problem and at the time i didnt want to feel it and think about it

unlike what i was feeling when i was with my gay friends in binangonan two nights ago i felt like i just wanted a distraction but going to the mall with my sister is not a good distraction the silence between us made us think that more about the problem making it more real

this makes me realize that the problem with depression is really how it should be handled at a given time because we dont really know what we want when depressed and nothing seems enough in life

i bought a new shirt for the interview tomorrow i have a lot of studying to do there is no getting out if this situation i just need to get over it

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